Finally a productive day!!!

Well, after a very long stretch of not having anything to write about I finally had a break through! I have been rereading a bunch of my Writer Mag magazines and one piece of advice stuck out to me: 

Write even when it's a bad day for writing - especially when it's a bad day for writing! Your ideas will return, and blossom, but you have to fight for them. Fight for them, and they will rise to the top.

(Well, it was along those lines at least. I may have tweaked it on my take-away.)

Tonight, I did exactly that - I fought for my ideas to come. I was a blank. Staring at a blank page, g-chatting, and trying to stay off of Facebook,  when I decided to get a little inspiration from pictures. I Googled "Life" and scrolled until a story came. As strange as it sounds though, I have written the end first. That is what popped in my head - the very ending paragraphs to the entire book. It's a bit hopeful in the end, I think, but it is going to be a horror book. I have always wanted to write a book that people would want to read at Halloween. 

Let's just hope that my muse sticks around.

Collaboration

I consider myself to be a writer. Incidentally, I have exactly two friends that would place themselves in the same category, and neither of them are the two people that I send my writing to for editing and ideas.

I suppose that I should not have been surprised when one of my fellow writers decided that they wanted to work on a book together. It's not like she hasn't talked about it before now - I suddenly just can't decide if this is actually a good idea. I am so used to being the sole voice in the story. I am the generator - judge and jury of all plot decisions. Where does one draw the line for letting my voice be heard?

This may or may not have been a great decision. 

No Writing

I have been failing as of late. I have not written in anything at all for the last.. almost two weeks now. I got a job - a pretty good job - and find that it's strange getting used to that huge chunk of my day being called for and not really available for writing. 

My current list of terrible excuses that run just short of "the dog ate my homework":

1) New job to get used to

2) training for the LA Marathon next year

3) Training for a half marathon this year

4) I'm just plain tired these days!

All of these are terrible, and not good enough for me to not be writing. I'm more than a lot disappointed in myself too, because i had found two great contests to submit to, and I now have nothing that I can really hand in to them. They were based out of the UK, and while in this era of globalization and the internet that should not be that cool ... it is SUPER cool to me, and I failed at it.

Now it is time to buckle down and do what I need to do. I am a writer... 

I MUST WRITE!

Writing and Moving

I move... A LOT. to do that and continue to write every single day is a bit of a challenge. Admittedly, I did miss one day of writing. I missed it because I had just finished a 16 hour drive and unpacking all of my stuff into a garage. Though thinking about it now, I wonder what might have come out of me at that point.

Getting back into an effortless routine has been tough. I have my attention more on settling into my new/old life here and getting a job for at least the summer. But that is part of the deal. To be successful at this I have to continue to do it even when I have so many other things that I could be doing at the time.

Plus I LOVE IT!!! 

Revising the Revisions

So, my term at school is ending, and with that brings the end of my writing class. It has been an interesting little class. It was all online, so a bit less hands-on than I would have wished it to be, effective all the same. I have been focusing on revising my final story excerpt, and I find myself a little nostalgic. Some of the things that I have been cutting out are things that I worked very hard on.

Even knowing that it would be most logical to just keep what I cut in a separate document, I still find myself feeling like I am cutting off an arm or something. Which as someone who is trying to become a serious writer, to be able to support myself solely on writing, I think that that is a feeling I can not actually afford. It is like picking a favorite child that I was only vaguely aware of in the first place.

I am in complete control!!!

I am currently taking a creative writing course in Portland, Oregon. It keeps me pretty busy I suppose. Today though, was the day that I was finally supposed to submit my own work for the class to go through and critique. I chose to put up a piece of writing that I actually have been working on for years now. A story that my two closest friends and I have been passing back and forth between us. The project was supposed to take a total of like 12 weeks and has stretched into like three years.

When I was going through the excerpt one last time before submitting it for their review I decided to change some things. One problem with co-writing something is that I continually feel like I need to stay true to their visions as well as my own. But I made an important decision as I changed names and more than a few sequences of events - it is one thing to push around a story between ourselves and not pay attention to things that really bug me, but when I am putting my name on something and putting it out into the public I am in complete control. It is my own vision that needs to be met. My world that I created and have a unique view of. Quite frankly, my friends wouldn't care about the changes that I made - probably because neither of them are trying to actually get published.

Thinking about it though, I find that I am frequently trying to go along with what I think others are going to be expecting or envisioning about a story that I am writing. And that is a disservice to my readers. My worlds, or circumstances, or ridiculous logic will never make sense if half the time it is not my own. Not to rag on any good, solid research, but when writing fiction that research needs to bend to my will and not the other way around.

I am in control.

The Test

Recently, I have stumbled upon a story that I really like. Stumbled may be inaccurate, because it has been in the back of my mind for a long time now. It centers around a woman who is living a simple life and then finds herself plunged into a dark world of murder and lies. the thing about her though is that she is not missed. She has people in her life, just not any in the same city as her, and there is a little 'out of sight, out of mind' going on. She realizes this at one point and then has to then save herself.

In the process of my writing this story though, I got a little curious. How long would it take for the people that I love the most to realize that I was gone, that something was wrong? My test was a little more simple... I asked myself how long would it take for a  blood relative or one of my best friends to actually call me? While waiting for someone to call I am not texting anyone back, chatting online, or doing anything other than looking at my news feed on Facebook.

This test is still going on.

It just shows how much one's writing can influence my real life. I infuse myself into these worlds I create, and it's getting harder to take myself out of them.

The Family Predicament

     I suppose that I should just be very thankful that I not only have a family, but that I like them, and that they like me enough to invite me to stay with them to see special events in their lives. And I am… I swear. The thing about it is that I have not written a word since I got here a few days ago. Utah and family and not really having anything that I HAVE to do everyday has become a horrible combination. I didn't want to bring my computer on such a short trip, I figured that I could use one of my sibling's computer if I really needed to (like right now, I have commandeered my sister-in-law's computer).
   
     Alas, I have not even really thought about writing since I arrived in Utah. I did bring with me a story journal to help me stay on track, but that track has turned into a huge and empty void in my mind. Which brings me to believe that maybe I am so very susceptible to a complete distraction from my writing. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing - a sign of my sanity or lack of true commitment and desire to move forward.

     I go home to Portland in the morning, or the next morning… I fly standby on a friend's flight benefits. Hopefully, I will be able to et back into my groove that I had going when I left. Maybe even make a new one that works even better.

Journaling

My writing has been going well. I hit a groove that I think will last for a little while.

I just wanted to insert something in here about my journaling ways.

I love my journal. I do not think that I would be nearly as sane as I am now without that outlet. As a writer I think that the journal is a very important part of the process. There is so much potential there to discover new truths about myself and the world around me that I may not have seen otherwise. I can be completely honest in my journal, and with that comes the freedom to express myself without fear of backlash.

I was just thinking about this the other day as I was starting a new journal. I have boxes of them sitting in my parent's garage at the moment. I always get a sense of anticipation and new beginning when I start a new one though. It is like having a random new year.

As an avid journaler I also have a journal fro every story I write. Maybe it is overconfidence, but I also have the problem of buying as many as I can all the time. Even when I do not have a story to go inside of them. But the help that I get from having them when I need them is irreplaceable. I have gotten into the habit of writing in my story journals when ever I am away from the computer/ home.

I rather enjoy this little habit that seems to have branched out into many areas of my life. I rather recommend it to everyone.  

First Contest of the Year!!!

Last night, after writing on this blog, I went about trolling around the internet looking for writing contests. A little before midnight I found the perfect one! It was an essay contest that just wanted submissions from a Northwest perspective. I grew up in the Seattle area, so I figured I had hit gold. There was no submission fee, which was a huge bonus, and I immediately had ideas coming into my head what I wanted to write about. It has only been about a month since my essay class finished so i suppose I am just still in that mode.

The one problem - it had to be post marked today! It took me about five hours to go through the first two drafts of my 2000 word essay. At which point I was so tired that I was not completely sure it all made sense in the real world, so I got a few hours of sleep. I set my alarm for 8am, got up at 10am, and headed straight to the PSU library to do a final edit and print (it had to be sent regular mail).

I was SO glad that I did that final edit. I ended up going through another two drafts before deciding that it was the best I was going to do in the time that I had. I am actually very proud of it, and have high hopes for it. There were probably thousands of submissions, so I won't be too surprised if I do not win - but I won't be all that surprised if I do!

Life and Writing

Well, It has been almost a week since last I posted here to update my writing status. I am still doing pretty good actually, Life has just started back up and I am a busy woman!

In some ways I kind of feel like I am doing better now that I have more to do. School is keeping me very, very busy and I really love that. The more I have on my plate the more my writing has become an escape from the norm and something I am not making myself do.

I am a little low on word count at the moment. I have been a little above or below my goal every night and I thought it was going to cancel out more, but it isn't. I suppose there is always room for improvement.

Now, I am going to be looking for writing contests that I can submit to. Get myself out there, with a concrete reason, maybe it will help as well!

Still truckin'

Today was interesting. I did my writing, but I did it in like ten 100 word sessions. I suppose that is one way to go. It did not feel very productive though. I am in the process of making a more structured schedule for my day, and I am hoping that that will make a difference in my writing.

An added distraction is that my travel bug seems to have hit me pretty hard and I keep getting distracted with my research of places I think that I will want to go. I mean, I can write from Australia just as well as my little hotel-room-apartment here in Portland.

There are so many places to go!!!! I almost can not handle it! But my writing is still a huge focus and commitment for me and I am going to sort that out before I make any real plans. I feel like it should be second nature to me here soon. This is just the hard part. It takes 30 days to start a real habit right?

I got this.

Class Starts

So, today my online creative writing class started. I think it will be good for me to help me stay on track with my writing.

Today went about as well as any other day I have actually written. It's like pulling teeth from my own mind and not understanding why it's not working... This makes me wonder if I am really a writer or if I am just someone who has a very active imagination. I continuously have stories running through my head, characters that make me laugh - and then I sit down to actually write it out lately and they all go into hiding.

feeling: FRUSTRATED

Unexpected Inspirations

     

 It is the end of day six of my goal of writing everyday. A goal I have not done very good at. I am not sure why I thought that this would be so easy, but it has most definitely not been. The weekend was tough, and as much as I would like to say that I sucked it up like a big girl and did what I said I would - I cannot. I basically took the weekend off writing in my stories. I did manage to get a blog post out on my main blog page (http://onlytimewilltellthetale.blogspot.com/), but other than that I got nothin' to show for it.

      Today, today was different. One of my best friends came to visit me randomly from Wyoming and I thought I was going to be able to rationalize in my head again not doing my writing. Thankfully, I was wrong. It turned out to be a rather short visit, more of a layover between flights, and I found myself with plenty of free time to do it. Did I start immediately after she left? Of course not.

      I was trolling around YouTube for awhile, and suddenly I just had this scene in my head. It was a wedding, in the woods, and there were otherworldly beings there. The stars looked like they do in pictures we get from the Hubble Telescope. I could not get this scene out of my head. I have no clue what may happen before or after this scene, but I did the intelligent thing and at least got the scene down. It even exceeded my goal word count for the day - so bonus there.

      The funny thing is that part of me has been waiting for something to just pop into my head since I started this, and now that it has I don't have a clue what to do with it. I feel like I have this excellent story that wants to come out, but I only know the end for some reason.

      If I do have a muse helping my creative juices, I am pretty sure it is messing with me.

Day 3

     Today I went off the script a little and decided to write my crap pages in a movie theater while waiting for the previews to start. I went to go see "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" and highly recommend it to everyone. It was a bit strange to be writing in the theater, and I caught more than a few strange glances back. I wonder a little what everyone was thinking about the strange girl in the back row, by herself, writing in a notebook, and occasionally whispering out the answers to the quiz they put on the screen about movies before the show.

      As far as the actual writing went... it did not. I will have to make that up tomorrow. I do not want to get in the habit of "making up" when I do not reach my goal from a previous day though. I feel like I could slide into a frame of mind of being behind in this very quickly. Maybe I will not make-up. This shall be contemplated until the morning. 

Day 2

      I started out doing well. I did my junk writing almost right after I woke up this morning. Getting the 1000 words in was harder. I actually have interrupted my writing for the day to write this post before midnight. I am not done with it, but will be continuing with it.

      I don't know why it is so hard for me to do the writing. I love to write, and it is not like I get terribly blocked when I am. I want to blame it on a short attention span, but I feel like that is not it. This is something to explore.

      One thing that I want to start doing is "The artist way" course. If you have not heard about it, The Artist's Way is a 12 week self directed course to enhance one's creativity. It is not even solely directed at writers, but at anyone who wants to be more creative. The book ties it in with a spiritual experience of sorts. The goal is to make you a creator yourself. I have actually owned the book for many many years, as well as the two sequels, and it was not until yesterday that I ever opened it and actually read more than a few paragraphs. I think it is worth a try, and if nothing else I have tried something new for the next 12 weeks.

Day 1 - harder than anticipated

Well, I made it through the first day of 2014. A few other things are going on in m y life at the moment... being jobless being the main one, and so I suddenly found that the goal I made with so much confidence and anticipation is going to be more of a challenge than I thought it would be. Usually, I am on top of things for at least the first week of a new goal. After that is another matter entirely, but at least that I can do. Today was ten times harder than I had thought. To do even just the simple 15 minutes of free write, and to get those 1000 words of a story was almost torture. Everything that I wrote today was complete crap, and I think that any editing will be held off for a bit. 

WHY

          I am a writer.

         This year I am taking on the challenge of writing every-single-solitary-day. It will be hence forth known as "My year of writing".

Objectives: To make writing a habit and get something published of win a writing contest

Goals:
     - Write everyday in 2014
     - Write for 15 minutes to get all of the crap out of my head and focus
     - Write at least 1000 words a day in a consistent story for at least three months at a time
     - Post about what I am doing, going through, and attempting in my writing world daily

Strategy:
     - make this blog (DONE .. look at me go!)
     - have a specific "junk" notebook so I can keep all of those ideas for when I am stuck
     - actually use my story notebooks
   

DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED !!!!!